Reflection on the Writing Workshop, 01/13/2017

"It's going to be something different" - said Ms. Moccia as she stepped away from the center of the room to welcome a stranger onto the teacher's "pedestal of attention". An ordinary looking man, perhaps in his late fifties, greeted the class and briefly explained the reason he's here - a writing competition. "Well, this is going to be boring" - I thought, as I was sitting in the first row, exhausted and bored, having only one wish in my head, to go home and sleep. Still, some tiny bit of curiosity remained in my heart as I waited for the stranger to show what else he has to offer. And oh, how wrong I was about what came next.

When the man spoke, I knew that he has said this speech numerous times before. Yet it sounded so sincere and raw. He spoke about writing and feelings, about fighting your inner demons and turning the mess this fight leaves behind into something beautiful. He read us a poem that he wrote when he was in a very dark place, and every word of that poem was filled with fear, anger, sadness. I'm not a big fan of poetry, but as he read on I felt his pain and I felt bad for him. An ordinary looking man has been to places that no person should have to go to in their life, yet most of us eventually do hit that rock bottom where only darkness and despair surround us.

When he finished, the man asked us questions. The questions made me very sad. As I responded to them, with sincerity that only shows when one knows their words will not be seen by another person's eyes, I realized the real reason why I'm so tired. I realized that my lack of energy is not simply a byproduct of a problematic education system, but instead a result of me, just like the man in that poem, wondering in a dark, dark place.

Then the man told us to write. And I wrote. Although I didn't write much, my pen flowed freely across the paper as I laid out my worries. I wrote about my mother. I wrote something private, yet I believe that most people have something similarly private to say about their parents. Surprisingly, it made me feel better. By writing my thoughts on paper, the reasons for my presence in the dark place became so much clearer. Not that I have not recognized them before, but everything laid itself out in a more orderly fashion. I am yet to deal with these issues, but at least I can look back at the paper and over time kill them off one by one.

Then the man asked us to read what we wrote. I really wanted a book for myself because I can't afford to buy them and have to pick up books at the library. I read, and others read, even those who planned not to share their worlds when he asked for volunteers. It made me feel a bit better about my problems because I realized I'm sitting in a room full of people with their own concerns, concerns that are so different but also painfully similar to my own. I'm not alone who's fighting a battle.
The man flipped my day around. It's magical, really, how something you're not slightly excited for can surprise you in the best ways possible. I'm glad that I had the opportunity to be there and witness the power of writing. It's that openness and honesty of writing that helps you understand who you are. 

Facing the Consequences of Using the N-word, 01/02/2017

The N-word is the most controversial word that exists in present day America. In the slavery and consecutive racial segregation periods, saying "nigger" was normal. Despite its degrading meaning, it was openly used by both races. But as American society evolved, whether white people can use the word, and if they can, then when and how, became a topic of major discussion. 

Isaac Bailey, a journalist in South Carolina and a primary columnist for The Sun News, argues that a white person who uses the n-word, in any context, is more likely to be harmed by it than his intended target. And for that reason, before using the word, white people should ask themselves whether they are ready to suffer whatever consequences might come - a loss of a job, reputation, or relationships - to use the word as freely as some black people do. 

I personally have found myself in a situation where hearing a white person next to me using the n-word made me cringe. I dislike the word in general - and roll my eyes anytime I hear it in conversation or song - but I do recognize that this word belongs to the black community and they can use it as they want. However, the white community should refrain from using the word. When coming out of white person's mouth, the word is hurtful and demeaning, regardless of original intentions. When a black person uses it, it's empowering - they honor what their ancestors went through and celebrate the hard-earned liberty. For the reason of it conveying different meanings depending on the color of the person who uses it, the n-word is the one word that cannot be appropriated, it cannot be shared and cannot be used freely by both races. 

http://www.cnn.com/2016/05/02/opinions/n-word-double-standard-debate-bailey/